Wide-Eyed Bambi

At a certain point Toni no longer needed words

You’re not sure you belong here, but it’s better than Skype. You guys even fought about it, didn’t you? Well, tonight he’s going to go out and get drunk with the boys out of revenge. He’ll flirt, try too hard and fail. Finally, he’ll make out with that old stand-by of his, a girl that you both know, but he’ll feel bad while he does it and he’ll feel worse after he’s done. You won’t know a thing because you’ll be a wide-eyed Bambi in a party full of wolves. You’ll lose your phone. When you notice, you won’t care. You’ll walk around with folded hands. You’ll meet interesting people who have traveled. You’ll drink wine. You’ll smoke pot. You won’t kiss anyone, but you’ll cheat in your mind. Everyone will seem interesting, the music will seem so bright and “British”, and you’ll follow your handsome tour guide to the corner of a red leather couch and you’ll talk. He’ll be beautiful and older and he’ll say things in excited tones and he’ll touch your hands a lot, and he’ll lean in a lot, and finally he will try to kiss you but you’ll move away and say that you have a boyfriend. A boyfriend who is passed out next to a half-naked girl with his dried-up cum in her hair. The only reason he even went out tonight is because of you. An act of emotional rebellion. Because he couldn’t bear to know that you were going to this party by yourself while he’s 300 miles away, rotting in the little town that you both grew up in.